"Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead," he suggested. "After that my own rule is to let everything alone."
Chapter 9 · Wolfshiem
Context
As Nick prepares to leave Wolfshiem's office, having failed to persuade him to attend Gatsby's funeral, Wolfshiem offers this philosophical justification for his absence—framing his refusal to mourn as a principled stance about the proper timing of loyalty.
Analysis
The juxtaposition of the sentimental platitude ('show friendship when he is alive') with the cold pragmatism ('let everything alone') exposes Wolfshiem's statement as self-serving rationalization disguised as wisdom—he reframes abandonment as philosophy. Yet the statement carries an unintended truth that indicts the entire novel's world: no one did show friendship to Gatsby when he was alive; they showed consumption of his hospitality, making Wolfshiem's maxim an accurate description of a failure everyone shares but no one is willing to remedy in death.
How to Use in Essay
Useful for essays on how characters in the novel use moral rhetoric to justify selfish behavior, or for arguing that Wolfshiem's statement inadvertently summarizes the novel's central irony—that Gatsby received neither genuine friendship in life nor mourning in death.